Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Ladybug Games





The Blue Jay



Facebook Posts

Derrick: Penelope?
Penelope: Yes, ma'am?
(He always answers her that way.)
12 hours ago

Penelope (as we wait for Derrick in the parking lot) Come here, Car! Come car! Pocus Focus! It's not working! What's going on, Mommy? Not any cars coming!
12 hours ago

Penelope (holding the yellow porcupine toy that Mom calls Mr. Pricklepants) Why are you so loud, Pickle Pants?
"Pickle Pants": (yelling) I AM SO LOUD!
Penelope: So many pickles!
15 hours ago

Penelope: Move car! Move car! I'm trying to push it! (It goes.) Come back, car! I'm trying.
Apparently, Penelope thinks she is telekenetic.
21 hours ago

Nellie: My puppy is scared.
Derrick: Why is he scared?
Nellie: Well...Tell me, Pupcake. Why are you scared?

Penelope: Uh oh, blue one! Something's watching you. Something watching with eyes. Be careful, blue one. OH NO! Died?

--Penelope, watching Star Wars for the first time
Sunday at 5:19 pm

Penelope: Oh no! Poopy! Sit on the potty! Sit on the potty!
Derrick: Sit on the potty! But you've already pooped! It's a preventative measure...
Sunday at 5:17pm

Derrick (speculating on why my phone's not working): Maybe you have a weird magnetic field. Your computers always break, too.
Me: Maybe I'm a magical creature, and I have some kind of destiny.
Derrick: I could believe that.
Me: (horrified) Really? 'Cause I think that's scary!
March 26 at 11:20 pm

Nellie: Where are all the birdies?
D: They flew home.
Me: She probably thinks they're at our house.
P (offended) No!
Me: Where are they?
P: Birdies' house!
March 26 at 12:32 pm

Penelope (from the back seat): Who is that creature?
Me: What creature?
P: I don't know him!
March 25 at 11:23 pm


At Grandpa's request, Grandma made waffles for dinner. She and Penelope cooked up some homemade blueberry syrup this afternoon, but Penelope also wanted honey. She then decided to pick the blueberries out of the syrup and dunk them in the honey.

March 25 at 10:35 pm


Penelope: Mommy, the bee bit me. (shows me her hand) Right here.
Me: Penelope, the bee wouldn't just bite you. He would sting you, and it would hurt a lot.
Penelope: Well, I feel something...
March 25 at 7:13 pm

Nellie: I see a bee, Mommy! Crunch him!
Me: I'm not going to step on a bee, you crazy!
Penelope: I stepped on him. He's dead.
Me: Nellie, don't step on bees!
Penelope: I'm sorry, bee!
March 25 at 7:02pm

Penelope: (playing in the bathroom sink with an Oscar the Grouch paper cup) Who is this green monster?
Me: That's Oscar the Grouch.
Penelope: He looks mean.
March 25 at 1:39pm


Penelope (lets out a bloodcurdling scream, THEN falls with a thud) Slipped! (Repeats) Slipped again! Clumsy!
March 25 at 12:00 am

Penelope: (sitting on her little car) On my way to Grandma's house.
Me: What are you going to do when you get there?
Penelope: Mommy come. Daddy, too! On my way (falling off and landing on her brother's gun) Too much toys! Ouch! That hurt my toodle butt!
March 24 at 11:36 pm

Penelope: Something's coming up me.
Me: What's coming?
Penelope: Bugs. Hear that? A car!
Me: Who's in that car?
Penelope: I don't know!
March 24 at 11:31 pm

Penelope (looking down at the coloring book page my mom colored) Oh wow! Good job, Grandma!

Why is Penelope suddenly terrified of crickets?
Well, I guess they do make a lot of sudden movements but she claims they bite and make you dead--like pskettis, which I finally figured out are mosquitoes. (It's weird because she says spaghetti normally.)
March 23 at 7:12pm

P: (scooting closer to me) Mr. Gump! Mr. Gump! Hello!
Me: Hello! Are you Mr. Gump?
P: No. Mr. Nelope!
March 22 at 11:56pm

Penelope was so eager to get Strawberry Shortcake out of my bag. Turns out, she wanted to ask her, "Seen Lemon?" Lemon Meringue is missing. I said, "Strawberry doesn't know where she is." But "Strawberry" surprised me by answering grimly, "Died."
March 22 at 10:46pm

Me: Did you have fun at the grocery store with Grandma and Grandpa?
Nellie: My balloon flew away! Over the neighbors!
Me: It flew over the neighbors' house?
Nellie: Yeah!

That's the second time we've lost one that way.

At the park yesterday, Penelope yelled, "Let's play catch!" I told her, "We don't have a ball!" She responded, "Catch me," as she ran away.
March 22 at 1:19 pm

Penelope woke up with a huge smile on her face and immediately got ready to run. "Chasing my Grandma," she told me with a grin. Must have been a good dream!
March 22 at 1:14pm

Penelope: (in the other room) Go for walk! Hooray! (in a creepy voice) I come, too! (in Penelope's voice) No, No, no! (running around with arms full of Beanie turkeys). Grandpa??? Gobble! Gobble!

Either she's possessed or she's friends with the world's creepiest turkeys.
March 21 at 5:37pm

Penelope brought me One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish which we used to read daily but haven't picked up for a while. On the second reading, she tried to guess what kind of animal all the characters were. She was stumped by the guy who says, "My hat is old, my teeth are gold..." She asked, "What's that strange creature?" "I don't know," I told her. "Needs new hat," she decided.
March 21 at 2:15pm

Penelope: I see it!
Me: What do you see?
Penelope: A dead cricket. Don't touch it!
Me: That's right. He's dead.
Penelope: Went to heaven.
Me: Yes, and one day we'll go to heaven.
Penelope: Daddy, too?
Me: Yes.
Penelope: Birdie coming, too?
Me: Yes, we'll all go to heaven. But not yet.
Penelope: First get a Happy Meal!
March 21 at 12:26pm

Penelope: Ooh! Mickey Mouse balloon!
Me: That's a bounce house.
Penelope: Play in it!
Me: Yes, but we don't know those people. Maybe we can get you a bounce house.
Penelope: Purple one!
Me: Yes, so you want a purple bounce house, a purple potty, a purple Easter basket, and a purple dress?
Penelope: Yeah.
Me: What's your favorite color?
Penelope: Pink!
March 20 at 4:55pm





Playing with Penelope

I haven't been blogging a lot lately because I've been busy with what I'm writing. Penelope is being her usual adorable self, however. Her new favorite activity is to go run through the bluebonnets near Grandma and Grandpa's house, which works out since I enjoy photographing her. I can't go without someone else along, though, because she tends to run away, and I can't catch her on my own.

On sunny days, she's not as big on posing because she's terrified of bees. At the zoo last weekend, I kept saying, "Look at these beautiful flowers!" Every time I said the word flowers, Penelope would chime in, "Bees," as if she were trying to replace the word flowers with its true meaning bees. She was very wary. Derrick coaxed her into smelling some, but she has a wary look on her face in all the pictures because she's keeping an eye out for bees.

She loves ladybugs, though. Yesterday, I actually managed to coax her down into the bluebonnets by pointing out ladybugs. She was so cute, cooing at them, and then it was just priceless when one flew into her hair. She looked so hard for it! The ladybug actually stayed in her hair for several minutes. I kept trying to get a picture of it, but she moved her head too much.

Suddenly, she's also afraid of crickets and spiders, and every night as we drive home, she announces, "There are no monsters." But then last night she started saying that, and abruptly interrupted herself, squeaking and pointing, "There's one!"

Every night we've been looking for the moon, but it hasn't been up there. It's been so cloudy! Penelope is not pleased about this development. Last night we stopped on the way home for diapers and milk, and while Derrick ran in to pick some up, Penelope kept me more than entertained in the car, helping me brainstorm baby names, including: Lion, Strawberry Shortcake, Limey, Lemon, Goofy, Minnie Mouse, Other Strawberry Shortcake, Donald Duck, Mad One, Mickey Mouse, May, Pupcake, Mousie Mousie Mouse, Daddy, Madasomething, and, last but not least, my favorite, Redhat Ladybug.

Then she cracked me up even further by trying to use some kind of telekinesis to summon cars closer to us. When it didn't work, she was shocked and disappointed. This is her new thing. At stoplights, she always exclaims, "Turns green!" But if there's a car stopped in front of us, she first yells, "Move car!" I thought she just had road rage until her further comments made it clear that she was trying to move and control the car by exercising her will.

This morning as soon as she woke up, she ran down the hall to play in her room. She likes to play with the animals on her old saucer. She grabs the beads underneath the cow and says, "Red--my favorite! Green--my favorite! Blue--my favorite!" (Every color is currently her favorite.) Then the cow either snores and says, "Mooooo," as he breathes out, or she announces, "The cow woke up!"

When she plays with toys, she often leaves out the word "says," but she's starting to use it a little more. She'll say, "Puppies are trapped," and then, "He-el-el-elp! Puppies." But she means, "'Help,' say the puppies." Recently, she's better about using says. This morning, she asked, "What's the matter, horsey?"

"My toe hurts," said the horsey.

"Why does your toe hurt," I asked.

"We-e-ell..." stalled the horsey evasively, as animals are wont to do when Penelope answers for them. Then, to change the subject, she quickly yelped, "Oh! Cow's awake!"

Then she found her old flip phone that features a mouse, a cat, and a dog, and tried to amaze me by making the animals change as a grand magic trick. "Almost done!" she said. Then she opened it. "Where's puppy? Mousie! Kweak! Kweak! Mazing!"


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Aww! Nellie Sees a Ladybug

Penelope enjoyed playing in the bluebonnets today. She got very interested in looking for ladybugs. "Wow!" she cried at first. Then she cooed, "Aww!" But then the ladybug flew away, and she couldn't find it for a long time, though she looked everywhere. I saw it, though. It was in her hair.



Friday, March 25, 2011

Penelope dunks the blueberries from the syrup in her honey


Ladybugs and Bees





Penelope Poses (Sort of) in Bluebonnets





Bluebonnets, Bees, and Lady Bugs

Penelope wasn't doing the world's greatest job posing. In the shot I framed best, she is busy keeping her eye on a bee, so she looks like she's possessed. She was very afraid of bees, and, in fairness, there were a lot of them out there.

"There's a bee," she kept yelping. "Crunch him, Mommy!"

"I'm not going to step on a bee, you crazy!" I told her.

"I stepped on him," she said. "He's dead."

"Don't step on bees!" I told her.

"I'm sorry, bee!" she said politely.

Thank goodness Grandpa came with us. I'm working on formulating something called The Penelope Principle--it involves mass, velocity, and the opposite direction from your intended trajectory.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

"My Pony"

Penelope has suddenly become obsessed with watching "My Pony" as she calls it, which is inconvenient since she never used to watch it, so we only have three episodes DVRed. Frankly, I think she's gotten tired of watching the same episodes of Strawberry Shortcake just like I have. Yesterday, she even watched a bunch of episodes of Max and Ruby. I don't know if new episodes of Strawberry Shortcake aren't airing, or if they're just not being recorded for some reason.

I also don't know if my rib is broken or just bruised. I also don't know how it happened. I've got a doctor's appointment at 2:30 today. Did Penelope kick me in my sleep? Did I sleep on her water bottle? Did she pee all over my face and arm this morning?

The answer to that last question is a resounding "yes." I was having a dream that someone was peeing all over me by accident in the bathroom, and sure enough...No Freudian mystery to that dream!

Then she woke up and told me, "Something happened to my toes."

"What happened to your toes?" I asked her.

"Dragon bit them," she said. "I can't see him."

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Rib

I'm worried that my rib is broken. Maybe Penelope really did kick me the other night in my sleep. Yesterday morning, the urgent care place we went last week about the pain in my side called back to say my blood work was normal. I was pretty sure at that point it was a muscle strain because it no longer hurt. Half an hour later, I was in excruciating pain. The only thing that happened in between was that I went up to get Penelope, and she climbed onto my side, but we were sitting on the bed at the time. The only thing I can figure out is that my rib is broken. It's sore to the touch. It hurts more when I talk, breathe, or lean my side against the couch (which used to make the muscle feel better). So I'm a bit upset by this. What can I do--not sleep?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Some Random Facebook Posts

Penelope (eating an apple): Ouch! Something hurt my teeth!
Me: What was it?
Penelope: A bug!
Me: A bug? Are you sure?
Penelope: Yes. Green bug.

Hmm. Yesterday in the park, she told me that her hand hurt because a cricket bit her.
March 16 at 1:58pm

Penelope (with a pretzel stick at the table): Hi, Pretzel Man!
"Pretzel Man": Boo hoo hoo! Crying! I'm so sad!
Me: What's the matter, Pretzel Man?
Pretzel Man: Any friends! Sad. So sad. No friends. Don't have friends!
Me (picking up some other pretzels): We'll be your friends, Pretzel man!
Pretzel Man: NO!!!!!!! Too sad. (Sobbing)
March 16 at 3:29pm

Me: What's a good Bible study book?
Merry: (looking at me warily, like it's a trick question) Uhm...the Bible?
March 16 at 3:45pm

Penelope: I see the kitty! (Pointing to Merry's cat, Kitty, on top of the love seat) He's up on the high mountains!
March 16 at 4:16pm

Penelope (from the back seat): Scuse me! Oh! More burps coming. Scuse again! Scuse again! Scuse again!
March 16 at 11:32pm

Me: (to Derrick) What do you think I should call this book?
Penelope: (helpfully) Pooh!
March 16 at 11:47pm

Penelope: Mommy!
Me: Nellie!
Penelope: Mommy, something bothered me.
Me: What bothered you, Nellie?
Penelope: An elephant!

Hmmm...So this week a green bug hurt her teeth, a cricket bit her hand, and now an elephant is bothering her. I don't want to imply that someone's not being 100 percent honest, but...
March 17 at 11:03pm

Penelope: (admiring the sparkly pink eyeshadow from Aunt Merry) Let's play again!
March 18 at 6:31pm

Penelope (to Merry's cat): Let's play cards, Kitty!
March 18 at 7:15pm via Android

Penelope (from back seat) Something's bothering me, Mommy.
Me: What?
P: A pig! He shocked me!
March 18 at 11:00pm via Android

Nellie: (crying) It's missing, Mommy! Can't find it! Oh no!
Me: What's missing, Nellie?
Nellie: (dismayed) My cut!
Saturday at 7:00pm

Penelope (to Merry, in the other room): Take off your bra!
Merry (coming out to explain): She's giving me directions before I get in the shower.
Saturday at 9:10pm

P: Look at the moon! Waxing!
Me: Tomorrow it will start waning.
P: What’s that?
Me: Getting smaller and smaller and smaller...
P: Oh rats!
Saturday at 11:13pm via Android

P: Cricket bit me, Mommy! Green one!
Me: Pesky crickets!
P: Bugs me.
Me: The cricket?
P: Everybody bugs me!

Penelope: Ooh! Mickey Mouse balloon!
Me: That's a bounce house.
Penelope: Play in it!
Me: Yes, but we don't know those people. Maybe we can get you a bounce house.
Penelope: Purple one!
Me: Yes, so you want a purple bounce house, a purple potty, a purple Easter basket, and a purple dress?
Penelope: Yeah.
Me: What's your favorite color?
Penelope: Pink!
Sunday at 4:55pm

Penelope: I see it!
Me: What do you see?
Penelope: A dead cricket. Don't touch it!
Me: That's right. He's dead.
Penelope: Went to heaven.
Me: Yes, and one day we'll go to heaven.
Penelope: Daddy, too?
Me: Yes.
Penelope: Birdie coming, too?
Me: Yes, we'll all go to heaven. But not yet.
Penelope: First get a Happy Meal!
Yesterday at 12:26pm

Penelope brought me One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish which we used to read daily but haven't picked up for a while. On the second reading, she tried to guess what kind of animal all the characters were. She was stumped by the guy who says, "My hat is old, my teeth are gold..." She asked, "What's that strange creature?" "I don't know," I told her. "Needs new hat," she decided.
22 hours ago ·

Penelope: (in the other room) Go for walk! Hooray! (in a creepy voice) I come, too! (in Penelope's voice) No, No, no! (running around with arms full of Beanie turkeys). Grandpa??? Gobble! Gobble!

Either she's possessed or she's friends with the world's creepiest turkeys.
18 hours ago


Another Strange Creature I Encountered at the Park

Monday, March 21, 2011

Screaming in the Back Seat

Sundaes on a Monday

We picked up Grayson from school today and took the kids to Dairy Queen for ice cream. "I'll have the usual," Grayson said casually and was about to disappear when Derrick asked him, "What is that?" He got this yummy brownie sundae with hot fudge, and Derrick got an equally tempting hot-fudge peanut thing. I got a Reese's blizzard and envied their hot fudge. Penelope requested "pink ice cream," so we got her the closest thing, a strawberry sundae. She took one bite and declared, "Stawberry sundae! Mmmm! This is too good!" Then she noticed the suspicious looking creature staring down at us and began making him bark, until I told her it was a Pflugerville Panther. The "panfer" then began trying to entice Nellie to come closer, using all his wiles.

She was extremely glad to see her brother. As we drove back to the house, Grayson and Penelope kept yelling from the back seat with increasing volume, "Don't pick your nose! PICK YOUR NOSE!" Then suddenly, Penelope started making this inhuman scream noise that reminded me of the monster I dreamed about last night in my horrifying nightmare. (I woke up unable to catch my breath with a terrible pain in my stomach. I thought I'd just gotten tense. Derrick thinks Penelope kicked me in the stomach.)

I had a series of nightmares last night--may end up writing a horror novel based on them. They were quite horrifying.

In the car, we saw a weird, tired-looking guy dressed as the statue of liberty as some kind of promotion. He was holding a yellow arrow cut-out and a bottle of orange Gatorade. Grayson complained, "That guy doesn't even look like the statue of liberty. The statue of liberty is holding a book and a torch."

"Well, he's holding a sign and a Gatorade," Derrick argued. "That's close."

Grayson added, "Plus, the statue of liberty is fat."

"The statue of liberty is not fat," Derrick protested.

"That guy is phat with a ph," I teased.

"No, with a pf," Derrick told me. "This is Pflugerville." We amuse each other, at least.

Derrick dropped us girls off at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and we went for a walk around the duck pond. I saw this weird, huge bird sitting in a tree. I told Derrick it looked like a penguin, but he says it's not a penguin (which I knew).

Penelope loves talking to ducks--until they get too close. Then she runs away. "Mommy, I'm fraid," she said, running into my arms. "Ducks bite!"

I told her, "The ducks won't bite you unless you try to take their bread. They just want to eat their dinner."

"Aww!" she cooed. "Hi ducks! Quack!" But then when they got too close, she'd run away into my arms again.

"Do you like the ducks?" I asked her.

She answered, "Sometimes."

On the way home, Dad stopped at a gas station and we passed a building that looked like the Dell offices a little.

"I see it!" Penelope cried. "There's Daddy's work!"

"It looks like Daddy's work doesn't it," Grandma said. "But where is Daddy?"

This had the unintended affect of making Penelope suspicious and worried. "Where is my Daddy?" she kept asking, as if he'd been kidnapped. She was also suspicious because Grandpa kept going before the light turned green. (Watching for it to turn green is her new favorite pastime.) I tried to explain about turning right on red, but she remained suspicious.

When we got back to Mom's, Grandma gave her a bath and changed her into her adorable new little whale pajamas.

On the way home tonight, she spent about five minutes saying, "Turns green, turns green, turns green..." And then when it changed, she yelled triumphantly, "GREEEEN!" She's so funny in the car, always watching all the red lights and looking out for the moon.

Last night, she said, "There's the moon! Waxing!"

"It's waning now," I told her.

"Not yet," she replied huffily.

Tonight she told me, "It's waning now, Mommy! But where is the moon?" She doesn't seem to believe me that it's behind a cloud because she can't see the clouds, either.




Penguin in the Tree (But Derrick Says It's Something Else)